Happy New Year!

Resolutions

The first thing that came to my mind this morning was that I broke my promise to post on the blog every month. In the chaos that is December I forgot my own rule to contribute a little piece of literary context to my daughters first year of life. This morning I sat staring out the window at the endless gray expanse of the Pacific (We’re in Pebble Beach) and realized that I had also neglected to make a New Years Resolution, 0-2 going into 2011 didn’t sit well. The Holidays tend to stir up a variety of emotions within me but guilt usually wasn’t one of them.

            It has been over a year since Ryane, Laney and I sat on the cold floor and opened a little package that would completely change our lives. The present sat under the tree last year for over three weeks, which seemed like an eternity for someone like myself with the patience level of a two year old. Our ultrasound technician had kindly accepted our request to write the gender of Baby Siegel in a sealed envelope and gave no inclinations when I prodded her suggestions that “my little boy” was looking good on the monitor. The contents of the envelop alone didn’t have enough drama for the big reveal so Ry dropped the information off to our good friends, The Clarke’s, along with an outfit for a little boy, a little pink dress and instructions to wrap the appropriate clothing based on the results of the ultrasound. The package was delivered to our house a few days later and placed along side the other gifts as if it were just another sweater or pair of gloves. Every time I walked past it I had the urge to accidentally fall into the tree and in turn possibly catch a glimpse of the color of fabric within. In the end I never did peek mostly because I was convinced we were having a boy. Our “clairvoint” friend told us she had a vision and it was definitely a boy, the hocus pocus ring test my mother had claimed fool proof for years said it was a boy, my neighbor convinced that baby girls drained the beauty out of their mother told us that Ryane was a vision of maternal beauty and that it had to be a boy.

As we pulled the tiny pink dress out of the festive tissue paper all I could think was……oh boy?

One year later I saw the joy that Harper brought to everyone’s faces this Christmas and something changed for me. I’ll be the first to admit I have been more than a little scroogey the last few years. The excitement of he Holidays was replaced with the stress of having to navigate frantic parking lots just to be herded with the rest of the masses into some unruly and disheveled retail barn. People are overworked, underpaid, and generally overwhelmed and this becomes clearly apparent after spending a few hours Christmas shopping. I don’t like the music, I think the whole concept of Santa is a little conflicting and I don’t really care for eggnog. None of that mattered when I saw my Grandpa hold my little girl on Christmas Eve. As she played with her new Christmas Bear with her Mimi and Papa I remembered why the holidays are special. Life as I know it has changed and that seemed to ring very true on Christmas Eve as I carved the family turkey for the first time. I know that the New Year will bring many new surprises but as I think back and remember all the great moments, including Christmas (go figure), I think that an appropriate resolution for me would be to relax and enjoy. Life is short and if you get too caught up in all the distractions you might miss the beauty. To all my friends and family, I love you, Thank you for a very special Christmas and Happy New Year!